Berri - Liberal Democrat, libertarian. This is the party for the happy-go-lucky dog. Free dog food at all times. Abolish veterinarians. Provide more rabbits for chasing. Bigger beaches, with better sandcastles to wee on. Electoral reform, pah, who cares about elections? Sand is what it is all about, sand.
Merlin. Monster Raving Looney partee. Tumbling where we go. Charjing abowt in eni direkshun with no particular plann, but desperate, desperate. Wot for? Not shure, but desperate nun the less. 'Lepe befor you look' is wot we stand for.
Barney - conservative. Keep beds in all rooms, at all times. Food available at all times, at low level, saves awkward climbing. Cat food, om nom nom. Maintain full rubbish bins and compost heaps, with interesting bits to snuffle at. Avoid change. Keep Landrover for me, avoid other humans apart from Simon sitting in it, eg Vanessa. Maintain the status quo.
Ted. Laybor, old stile. Re nationalize all wild kreetchers for me to katch, eg, myce. Mayk union membership kompulsery, my union is the Trade Eschews Demokracy Union, TED. Wot dus Eschews mean?
Sky. British Nationalist Party. All animals with foreign sounding names or short legs can get out of this country, eg. the chihuahua, Pekignese, sausage dog. All cats must be abolished, starting with non British cats, eg the Maine Coon and the Siamese. They have no place in a proper collie world and are pushing us out of our jobs managing the balls. A strong leader is needed, me, with the power to impose stringent laws. More balls are what this party calls for. More balls.
All wild creatures, robins, throstles, frogs and their spawn, sparrows, slugs waiting for the warmth and noms to be planted, Green Party. Nuff said.
