Vegan food, and the containers it came in, om nom nom

I had two tubes of vegan pate stuff called Tartex yesterday, and a pack of cheezly.  The plastic containers were particularly yummy.  Simon had got all relaxed as I have not stolen anything for a while.  hahaha.

Poorly sick

I am a bit poorly sick and sorry for myself.  Vanessa and Simon think I must have eaten something bad, I like most things, so that is probably what happened.  I hope I will be better soon, as I want some tasty toast, but even that  makes me feel ill just now.  I went to see the nasty vet, I will probably have to have this and that stuffed down my throat now.

Manifestos

The animals who live at Michael House have been preparing their manifestos in readiness for the forthcoming elections.

Berri - Liberal Democrat,  libertarian.  This is the party for the happy-go-lucky dog.  Free dog food at all times.    Abolish veterinarians.  Provide more rabbits for chasing.  Bigger beaches, with better sandcastles to wee on.  Electoral reform, pah, who cares about elections?  Sand is what it is all about, sand.

Merlin.  Monster Raving Looney partee.  Tumbling where we go.  Charjing abowt in eni direkshun with no particular plann, but desperate, desperate.  Wot for?   Not shure, but desperate nun the less.  'Lepe befor you look' is wot we stand for.

Barney - conservative.  Keep beds in all rooms, at all times.  Food available at all times, at low level, saves awkward climbing.  Cat food, om nom nom.  Maintain full rubbish bins and compost heaps, with interesting bits to snuffle at.  Avoid change.  Keep Landrover for me, avoid other humans apart from Simon sitting in it, eg Vanessa.  Maintain the status quo.

Ted.  Laybor, old stile.  Re nationalize all wild kreetchers for me to katch,  eg, myce.  Mayk union membership kompulsery, my union is the Trade Eschews  Demokracy Union, TED.  Wot dus Eschews mean?

Sky. British Nationalist Party. All animals with foreign sounding names or short legs can get out of this country, eg. the chihuahua, Pekignese, sausage dog. All cats must be abolished, starting with non British cats, eg the Maine Coon and the Siamese. They have no place in a proper collie world and are pushing us out of our jobs managing the balls. A strong leader is needed, me, with the power to impose stringent laws. More balls are what this party calls for. More balls.

All wild creatures, robins, throstles, frogs and their spawn, sparrows, slugs waiting for the warmth and noms to be planted, Green Party.  Nuff said.

Fun

Today I had the best fun of my life. We went out in the car to somewhere called Bodmin Moor. The ground was all white and strange. When I walked my paws sank in, and I thought the world was collapsing. I just lay down until the ground stopped giving way and my tummy got cold, then tried again. But, it collapsed again and again, but only a little way (about 5 inches). Then I discovered it was fun to walk in and there was solid ground all the time underneath the white and cold stuff, which is called snow. Then I had a little run and rolled round in it and it was just brilliant. Berri ran and ran, he loved it straight away and knew all about it, and Sky just played ball and was a bit cross that it kept disappearing into the snow.

this is me on an altogether warmer day

nu yer

iff it is so speshul, a nu yer, wotteva that iz, wi havent i got a selebrashun mele, sum luvlee fishee?

luv fromm a grumpee Ted

recovered

I am fully recovered now, so much so that I am driving Simon and Vanessa bonkers with my wellness and interest in everything that just might be edible.

love

Barney

insident

tuday i hadd a littel insident. i fel in the ponde. itt wos rayning eniway, so the Vanesser did not immediattlee realize wen shee sore me. butt wen i arsed (vannesser sniggered wen she sor i had ritten this, how rewd) tu go indors, the vanesser thort i wos inside the howse, as i meowed so lowed becoz i wos upsett. i was verri bedraggled and soggy, exsept mi hed, i kepped that owt ov the worter. itt wos verri kold in the ponde. the gests and everiwun mayd a grate bigg fuss ov mee. i may du it agen, just for the fuss. she did nott get a foto, that is gud, it wud hav bene humeowliating iff shee had, it wos not veri dignifide. i am not a veri dignifide boi, it is the tale problem agen.

butt, i am veri bewtifull.