Sky

I am going to write little snippets about Sky as the days pass, as I know I will forget what has happened and how things progressed.  Sky is still with us, she is not as well as when she wrote that last post, but she is still very much interested in life and enjoying things.

I am learning about a new aspect of her.  It is making me realise, that you only get to know all aspects of anyone if you see them from birth through to death, and that rarely happens with humans for obvious reasons.  I missed the first seven years of Sky's life, but I am sure she was a lovely, fun and energetic youngster.

In her old age and illness, she is showing new parts of herself.  She is telling me what to do, as she mentioned in the last post, when to turn round on walks, when she will eat, when not.  She prefers food sprinkled over the floor, she does not now eat in the mornings, only at night, she prefers stolen food, cat food.  So I set it up to seem stolen!  But, having some cat food today, 'legally', Merlin tried to eat it. Sky was not eating it, but she attacked him, and he has a bite on his face.  We must be very careful, and remember, it looks like a game, but it is not.  We have steroids to give her, but have not yet started these, as she is still eating a fair amount.  Also, Shian (golden retriever) died the day after starting on steroids, as did Sydney (tabby cat).  I feel cautious about starting them.

I know Sky will not survive this, but she seems so well at times, that that becomes hard to believe.  We sing together, she is clearly still enjoying life in the main, she is alert and interested.  I so hope we will know the right time for her to depart.  I cannot bear the thought of it, but want to do it right for her.  The cancer has moved to her lungs, so walking far, up hills, is difficult now, but she takes rests and is determined to do as much as she can.

I want to write these notes, mainly for myself, but others may find it interesting, as it is remarkable how fast we adapt to new circumstances, and they become the norm.  Towards the end of November, we had no inkling this was around the corner, now it is normal to praise her for eating a lump of catfood which we would have told her off for taking so recently!

In some ways I feel guilty that I feel so differently about different animals i have lived with.  Yet, surely, it is more natural to feel closer to some than others, just as one does with humans.  To see them as all the same would be to belittle the relationships we have with them.  I feel so close to Sky, I did to Dum-Dum, the cat who died of FIV many years ago.  Yet, Cimba, whom I lived with for 17years or so and Tibby, both left  this world with me dry eyed.  I loved them, but I did not have that closeness or rapport I have with Sky and I had with Dum-Dum.