Sunday, 27 December 2009


I am fully recovered now, so much so that I am driving Simon and Vanessa bonkers with my wellness and interest in everything that just might be edible.



Saturday, 26 December 2009


tuday i hadd a littel insident. i fel in the ponde. itt wos rayning eniway, so the Vanesser did not immediattlee realize wen shee sore me. butt wen i arsed (vannesser sniggered wen she sor i had ritten this, how rewd) tu go indors, the vanesser thort i wos inside the howse, as i meowed so lowed becoz i wos upsett. i was verri bedraggled and soggy, exsept mi hed, i kepped that owt ov the worter. itt wos verri kold in the ponde. the gests and everiwun mayd a grate bigg fuss ov mee. i may du it agen, just for the fuss. she did nott get a foto, that is gud, it wud hav bene humeowliating iff shee had, it wos not veri dignifide. i am not a veri dignifide boi, it is the tale problem agen.
butt, i am veri bewtifull.

Friday, 25 December 2009

happee kristmouse

hahaha, bitt layt with thiss, onlee 8 minits left ov thiss kristmouse.

hope yu hadd funn. I didd nott. i slept wile itt wos sunnee and then went owt wen it rayned.

luv Ted - the prittee wun, not the bluree wun, hu, insidentally, put orl the fude evereewere

Tuesday, 15 December 2009

owtrajed ov trenno

it is owtrajus that this nu kat kan just wonnder inn and gett orl the fud and wee on the flor and then get a kuddorl. and skie has a bash on her nowse and i DIDD NOTT DU itt.

here is wi it is orl rong:

I sit on Henree the huver

or the windowsill

Merlin sits in my bed. hee is not really yello, that is just the vannesser duing bad fotos.

he snuggorls up with the gests teddeee bere, in the rume no animorls ar allowd inn, I mite ad

OK, OK, acksherlli, we get on verri wel. this foto went yello and bleri, butt wee hav evern slept in the saym kat bed together. Wee both got up verri kwiklee wen the vanesser went to get her kamerer, we ar not reddi to go publik as frends yet.

he is veri messi at eting. apparentlee, it may bee becos his wiskers ar long and he dus not like the feling of them on the ej ov the bole, so tayks the fud owt.


Wednesday, 2 December 2009


hallow, mi naym is Merlin. i hav bene freesikled and kame tu liv at mikorl howse larst satterday, 28th nov. i like it heer. i like marmite, it is mi mate. i l;ike the uptite uprites, thay are funni, thay hav not gott yewsed to mi fude rekwirements yet. thay think i am funni luking, butt i thinc thay ar.
i am now corld merlin, as i am from Tintagel and i am a bit ov a wizard. i am verri soft and kuddlee

Tuesday, 3 November 2009

this woz a veegan sallerd dressing...

hahahaha, and yew thort I didn't like eneething veegan. Gotcha.

Nice bridge

Let's go, games to play


This is a big white cow that was watching me, way back in the Spring, to make sure I did not chase her. I am not that stupid, she is bigger than me and I am more of a rabbit sort of chap myself.


This is me at my favourite place, on the beach at Trebarwith Strand.


I did this, ages ago. I had all the contents of one of the guest refreshment trays all over the floor. I had the milk from some milk cartons, yummy, I tried coffee, yuck, that is only good for spreading over the carpet, and the tea, not worth bothering with, what do humans make such a fuss about it for? The hot chocolate was nice, I smeared that around on the rug as well, and had as much as I could before that interfering Vanessa found me, shouted at me and sent me back downstairs. love Barney

Wednesday, 21 October 2009


Today, I am mostly taken up with being brown and chocolatey.

love Barney

Thursday, 17 September 2009


My best friend, Ebony, has died. She was at least 18 years old and was very well until only a few days ago, she had a good life.

Most cats just bash me on the nose, Ebony rolled around with me and played and we were such good friends. When I visited my real Mum, Elizabeth, she was always there, and I would have a little play with her, once I had eaten my treat and had a look in the bins of course. She came to Michael House for her holidays, I was always pleased to see her, and everyone except Ted loved her. Ted hated her, but she bossed him about, which was good for Ted.

I will miss Ebony, she made a funny noise, because she was deaf. She looked after Elizabeth nicely when I no longer could.

love Barney

Monday, 7 September 2009

Veegan, what's that?

Please can I be vegan, if it means more food? I could be vegan and an omnivore as well? I don't mind.
This is a silly photo of me, when I was very young, and didn't understand about sand.

wots this i heer?

wot, me? Go veegen? no, no, no, i wil not.


Saturday, 5 September 2009


it is now winnter. i no thiss and vannesser nos this, as i hav star Ted to slepe on her hed.

Tuesday, 14 July 2009

im inn trubbell, agen

i korsed a grate kerfuffell bi gowing missing. agen. hahaha, now thay realli luv me and karnt stop kuddling me! i went owt for a littel wile on saterday nite, it started rayning, i fownd shelter. there was a littel dor into a big space, i went inn. it did not open owtword. i wos stukk. the peepel hu liv there did not see me the next day as i hid from them wen thay kame in the gararje. vanesser wos verri upset and luked for me orl arownd treknow, corling and making a twit ov herself. hahaha. then she fownd me. i wud not come owt at ferst, then, wen i did, i wos happi and et lots of fud.

Tuesday, 12 May 2009

Guest post by Ebony

Hellow, i am ebonee. i am staying at mickorl howse for a bit wile mi uprite, elizzerbeth is on her hollidays. it is not nise heer.
i gett shutt in playses. thay downt let me owt in kase i get lost. i am 18. i am verri spritely. this is a term hewmans yews to diskribe peepel hu ar a bit owld but bizzi and rushing abowt. I am bissi and rushing abowt.
i am def. therfor i kannot heer mi own voyse, but apparentli (not shor how i no this, but i du) i make verri lowd waley noises, and the gests heer me, so now i am staying in the annex with simon and vannesser.
that silli ted, hu thincs he is so cleva and bashes up most kats, butt he is skeered ov me and hides unda the steers. hahaha. i like sky, and i think she likes me. she kepes luking at me. barnee and me ar best frends.
i am gowing home tommorrow. that wil be gud.

Monday, 4 May 2009


there were some tadpoles in the pond
who were it is said, really fond
of a smidgen of blogging
preparing for frogging
with a splish and a splash, 'we've been...'

hahaha, i et them before thay cud finnish the limmerikk.

Vanessa added:

but the word they were seeking was


the slugs and snails will be happy...

Wednesday, 29 April 2009


Vannesser, the uptite uprite, ses that the tadpoles in the pond mey rite a post. how silli is that? thay karnt rite, it wil be orl wet and slippi. she had betta get them tu du it sune, or thay wil be frogs and no way wud frogs be bloggers. Ted.

Saturday, 25 April 2009

it werked, it werked!

hahaha, i got the milc, cee the post beelow Barnees if yu du not no wot i am on abowt.

it wos serrendippitty. a cupporl of jehovers witnesses kame tu the dor and, wile vanesser wos telling them she wos not interrested in the biborl, i hadd the milc! thanc godd for jehovers witnesses.

luv ted the milcky boy.


Hello, at last I can have a go on here.

This is me relaxing in the garden the other day, we have had a lot of sunshine. I think I am a handsome chap, I am going a bit grey, but of course that is distinguished.
My main interest is eating. I have just had the last few pieces of chewing gum from the packet Vanessa had left by the computer to help her with losing weight. I did not chew them, they will dissolve in my tummy, I hope. They do something they call 'Barney proofing' in the utility room where we spend most of our time. This means putting anything which I might construe as edible very high up. She had forgotten about the gum, which was good.

I also like, cat food, bird food, vegetables, the bits ready for the compost, composts themselves, chocolate, and poo of a variety of origins.

Mostly I go to work with Simon. Today, Simon has gone to London to protest against animals being used in laboratories, so Vanessa and I are doing something called bonding, as we do not always like each other properly. We are only using a Pritt Stick, so that we can get apart again if necessary. I think it is working, we are getting on very well.
I am hoping that we will go for a walk later, as the sheep are in the fields and I can have a poo fest. I will also run, which makes Vanessa laugh, as I don't go very far, and mainly go up and down, and my ears flap.
I will do another post soon.

heer i am

barnee is gowing to du a post.

iff i sit on the cheer in frunt ov the compewter, and then sit in frunt ov the screne, i wil be abel to drinc the milc owt ov vanessers sereorls, as she wil get kros with me and there wil be kaos wich i kan take advarntidge ov. orlso, barnee wil not be aborl to du his blogg.


i reeli du thinc vanesser nedes to take mor fotows ov me. this is ov me larst yer, wen thay tuk me on holiday and didernt fede me.


Thursday, 23 April 2009


This is me, enjoying a bit of sunshine. I will do a proper post soon, it will mostly be about food.

It will all be about food.



mor bi stewpid dogs

i du not tayk eni notiss ov ski wen she steers at me. i sumtimes hissss at her if she is reely annoying, or smak her nose.
the Polly tunnel is a gud playse to eskape from silli dogs. but it is not so gud wen vannesser starts wortering the plarnts and has not sene me ther.

Ted, the long sufferring kat.
du i luk disdain full?

is it my turn yet, i don't really mind if not, but it would be nice...

My favourite thing to do is to play ball. I do not mind if we are on a beautiful walk, or in the middle of a busy town, as long as we can play ball.

This is me doing a howly howl, as I am very proud to bring my ball back to get it thrown again. This sometimes seems like a silly activity to humans, but it is very important to me, nearly as important as eating. Well, not quite. We had walked up the hill to the side of the Port William pub at Trebarwith Strand, there are 200 steps. Since Vanessa has been diagnosed with Arthur itis, she was worried she might never get up there again, but it was easy. I have Arthur too, we both take glucosa something. Mean.

I also love people and meeting the lovely elderly folk I see when I go to the Home in Bodmin. I look for crumbs under their chairs. I am also the mascot of the art group in Tintagel. When we arrive, no-one says hello to Vanessa, they just talk to me. Mostly I get cake. I do not do any painting, that is not one of my talents.

I do not like that cat Ted, I try to get him to go away by staring at him.

I am quite assertive, but sometimes get a duff deal. Vanessa just walked past our beds and mine had a laundry basket in, and I was all curled around the edge. That is not right, is it?

This is the view over Trebarwith Strand, towards Tintagel from the top of the steps.



Monday, 20 April 2009

beche, pah

wi wud eni wun wont to go tu the beche? onli for stewpid dogs. i hav bene woshing mi bottum. Ted.

Trebarwith Strand, by Berri-Biskit

Trebarwith Strand is my favourite place in the whole world. it is brilliant, I have loads of fun there.

There are caves to explore

Gull Rock to admire

Sky loves it too, although she doesn't mind where we are, so long as there is a ball to play with

I can hurl myself around in the sand

Make friends

Look scrumptious

Look around

Look ridiculous.
What more could any dog want?

Wednesday, 15 April 2009

hello, hello, hello

Hello, Berri-Biskit here. I have spent the morning eating a chew. It was meant to be for Sky, but she gets other special treats, she is going with Vanessa to the art exhibition this afternoon, so I thought it right that I had it. I growled if anyone tried to take it away. I never growl, but this was extra good, so had to be protected from theft.

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

No bone

The others are chewing bones, well pretend bones, and I am not.. They won't let me have the bone. I had a nice play at Glebe Cliff earlier. I hate that cat, Ted. I stare at him to try to make him move. In the end, it works. Sometimes I have to stare for a long time. love Sky.

Saturday, 11 April 2009


This is the ferst post on this nu blog. as i am the expert at riting, i thowt it proppa that i du it. wel, the uthers had no choyse. i wil mainli bee telling yu how orful it is heer.

this is me praktising beeing kute. i am mostli evill.